Spontaneous Human Combustion

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Fri, 11 May 2012 19:19:26 -0700

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Mon, 07 May 2012 18:21:35 -0700

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Fri, 04 May 2012 21:00:41 -0700

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Fri, 04 May 2012 21:00:12 -0700

A Sad Child

Fri, 04 May 2012 20:57:51 -0700

You’re sad because you’re sad.
It’s psychic. It’s the age. It’s chemical.
Go see a shrink or take a pill,
or hug your sadness like an eyeless doll
you need to sleep.

Well, all children are sad
but some get over it.
Count your blessings. Better than that,
buy a hat. Buy a coat or pet.
Take up dancing to forget.

Forget what?
Your sadness, your shadow,
whatever it was that was done to you
the day of the lawn party
when you came inside flushed with the sun,
your mouth sulky with sugar,
in your new dress with the ribbon
and the ice-cream smear,
and said to yourself in the bathroom,
I am not the favorite child.

My darling, when it comes
right down to it
and the light fails and the fog rolls in
and you’re trapped in your overturned body
under a blanket or burning car,

and the red flame is seeping out of you
and igniting the tarmac beside you head
or else the floor, or else the pillow,
none of us is;
or else we all are.

—Margaret Atwood

“A Cold Freezin’ Night” by The Books

Fri, 04 May 2012 20:36:33 -0700

“A Cold Freezin’ Night” by The Books

notonomatopoeia: Sierra DeMulder - Werewolf - CUPSI 2009 My...

Thu, 03 May 2012 14:49:27 -0700

notonomatopoeia:

Sierra DeMulder - Werewolf - CUPSI 2009

My father has been dry for fourteen years, and he tells me,
“An alcoholic is always an alcoholic,
and sober is just another word for thirsty.”
my hands are too thirsty to admit on paper
the last time I etched regret into my leg
because the blade is still in me, this sickness is still in me,
and everyday it calls to me to open up and let it breathe.

I have felt it dancing like the devil in the belt felt metal kissing tissue
howled temptation into my scars when the moon was blackened out
carved “I am better than this” on the inside of my thighs
and in the morning the scars just read “Weakness.”

My own fingers are abusive.
So shoot me with a silver bullet,
hold my hands away from their victim.
I do not have layers of eyeliner and teen angst.
I am not a little girl just looking to get looked at.
I do not walk down the street, or across it.
I just live there.

When all you want to do is break like bones,
and go into the drawer that
isn’t ever opened anymore.

I am not looking for pity.
I have baskets full.
I am not looking for attention,
there is a reason you don’t see any scars.
I think it’s sick that this remedy requires
something to be broken
veins enclosed with red fencing.

I do not believe the band-aids are healing.
They are just another layer.
This is just another way of feeling.

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Wed, 02 May 2012 18:56:50 -0700

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Wed, 02 May 2012 18:56:26 -0700

i want to make a comic about a caterpillar

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 12:56:00 -0700

think about how fucked up they have to be.

OMGGGGG why am i EATING so MUCH!? *nom nom* i’m such a LARD omGGGGGGGG that’s 6 laeves today omggggggggggg.

what’s this stuff coming out of my butt? omg is that WOOOOOD? it looks like wood omggg why am i building it around me. OMG I’M TURNING INSIDE OUT OMG OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE!!!!!? MOMMMMMMMM- I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO MY MOTHER IS!?

*chrysalis*
bored.

bored.

nevver: “Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your...

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:45:46 -0700

nevver:

“Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.” — Alan Watts

Final Notations

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:28:39 -0700

it will not be simple, it will not be long
it will take little time, it will take all your thought
it will take all your heart, it will take all your breath
it will be short, it will not be simple

it will touch through your ribs, it will take all your heart
it will not be long, it will occupy your thought
as a city is occupied, as a bed is occupied
it will take all your flesh, it will not be simple

You are coming into us who cannot withstand you
you are coming into us who never wanted to withstand you
you are taking parts of us into places never planned
you are going far away with pieces of our lives

it will be short, it will take all your breath
it will not be simple, it will become your will

—Adrienne Rich

her eyes. she's on the dark side.

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:20:48 -0700

stay on track stay on track. april is for making. making words and making art. new friendships and restoring old ones. progress. changes. april is for making a difference in the way i live before it cycles back back back.

i haven’t smoked (-1) in 7 weeks. 7 fucking weeks and today i’m at work and stressed and everyone leaves for the morning and before i can stop the thought i’m thinking “thank god i get to go smoke” like it’s january again and parks and leather jackets are my friend.

go home don’t hang get grumpy and on edge for a thousand reasons and the urge to self-destruct leaves sleeptheafternoonaway as the only option when you’ve stopped doing everything else you’ve always relied on to cope.

stay on track.

he talks about his brother’s tendency to shoot himself in the foot once he’s doing well and i only nod but inside it’s like heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy fancy meeting you here because yeah, the appeal of down is always so much stronger than up.

i’ve listened to massive attack- angel a thousand times on repeat. thinking all the while that i still need to file taxes. that i still need to save money. that i still need to write today. draw today.

thinking all the while that we should just all get fucking plastered today.

stop being so fucking afraid.

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Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:03:07 -0700

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Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:01:12 -0700

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Thu, 05 Apr 2012 18:57:55 -0700

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Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:54:48 -0700

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Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:21:23 -0700

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Wed, 04 Apr 2012 17:41:31 -0700

guiz- i may or may not have had a crush on an animated lion when...

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 17:38:08 -0700

guiz- i may or may not have had a crush on an animated lion when i was 9